Parents talk to teens about what the teen is doing, what they should or shouldn’t do, or what they want them to do. You don’t talk very often about yourselves. I am not referring to the “I walked a mile just to go to school” talk. I mean what you are doing – right now. This can be as simple as saying out loud what you are doing at the moment and why you are doing it.
For instance, if you just got a call from a good friend who is having some kind of trouble, take a minute and let your teen know why you are getting in the car and driving over to see her or him. You don’t have to betray the confidence of your friend, but think about what you are sharing with your teen by simply letting them know what’s up.
1. You care about your friends
2. You believe in being there for people when they need you.
3. Others are struggling with issues that can help us put ours in perspective
4. Sometimes you act in the moment
5. You have friends – yes, you, their parent, have friends that mean as much to you as theirs mean to them.
Don’t over burden your teen. Just keep them informed. If you never tell them what’s up with you, they are less likely to learn about things beyond themselves. Teenagers are developmentally ego-involved to begin with. It comes with the stage of life. If you share what you think about and what you are doing, it may help them begin to realize that there really is a whole big world out there beyond them.
Be prepared for them to look at you like they really don’t care what you are doing and have no interest. The “why are you telling me this?” look. You know the one. Just ignore it and keep going. I think the most important thing to remember about teens is that they work really, really hard at hiding the fact that they care about anything related to parents.
List some examples of things you could tell your teenager about yourself:
What has happened to you in the last week that you could share with your teen?
Think about some of the things you have had on your mind this week and see what you might share.
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