Teens and Opinions

So – when was the last time you asked your teen their opinion? And I don’t mean in the form of “What were you thinking?” Try to remember the last time you turned to your teen and said “What do you think?” (without any sarcasm). Was it when you were trying to decide what to wear to an event? Did you ask when you were trying to decide what to have for dinner? Have you asked your teen where they might like to go out to dinner? How about after you heard some interesting news?

If you ask your teen their opinion as a regular course of events – as opposed to a huge, major, critical family meeting moment – they will begin to learn that you value what they think. If they can come to believe that you value what they think, they start to believe you value them, and that they intrinsically have value. This is one way to help you teen build self esteem. And you may find some very interesting information when you hear their answers.

I was enjoying a family visit on a nice summer afternoon recently. One of my cousins, who just turned 20, was asking her mother some questions and offering a different opinion. Her mother suggested she just couldn’t know because she hadn’t had the experience herself. My cousin then made a very interesting comment. “Perhaps you should listen to your 20 year old daughter who doesn’t know and because she doesn’t she may be able to give you a new perspective on it.” Wow – that’s some maturity from a 20 year old. Cool. You may be surprised by what you will find when you ask their opinion.